Personally I hate introductions and first impressions, even though they are a requirement of this planet. Now I may not know your reason for hating these impressions as much as I do, however mine is simple…I SUCK AT THEM. While that may sound a bit melodramatic to you, I do not think so and believe that it sounds completely and utterly sane. When it comes to making introductions or first impressions (since they are essentially the same and interrelated) I find them to be extremely difficult because I either do not say enough or I become a blubbering idiot.
Even though I am a very passionate individual in regards to a plethora of topics, such as my stance in the belief that ALL PEOPLE ARE CREATED EQUAL, THEREFORE SHOULD HAVE EQUAL RIGHTS, when it comes to stating “what interests me” I am miraculously transformed into someone who cannot speak with more than one syllable. My “verbose” self becomes oddly quiet, so much so that my mother once asked if I was sick due to the lack of words exiting my face hole while meeting my best friend’s mom for the first time. Now while I am very much so internally freaking out and mentally berating myself about all the things that I could have said or most importantly should have said, on the exterior I seem relatively cool and disinterested. How my internal breakdown manages to stay on the inside while the facade that is my face seems cold and behaves in a very Darcy-like manner I shall not know; perhaps through science I will eventually figure this out.
The other manner by which I become possessed during introductions is that I tend to blab and say more than is necessary and therefore turn into a blubbering idiot. This reaction I found tends to be more natural among human kind and for this I am eternally grateful since it makes me feel more normal. During this type of reaction I have the opposite problem when it comes to verbalizing my thoughts. Since previously I would say very little and think a lot, in this instance, I say a lot and think very little. Psychologically one would say that my frontal lobe is being deactivated while my emotional control center has hijacked my brain; yet regardless of this I know one thing, I CANNOT SHUT UP, therefore I get into the tendency of rambling (as I am doing now).
These afflictions however make introductions very painful because of the first impressions that then follow suit. If I say very little, I seem very disinterested in the person whom I am meeting when in reality I am ecstatic to meet s/he but am not functioning as a human being and therefore not able to display my enthusiasm correctly. It is because of this that I can come across as being rude as well having both pride and prejudice. While if I am going down the second path, individuals assume that I am just another dumb blonde who is incapable of having one intelligent thought.
Regardless of of how I may come across (since I either say too much or too little) I will try my best to provide an introduction because as painful as it may be, it is completely necessary. My name is Elsa and I am a semi-recent Florida State grad living in Seattle. I have aways been fascinated with art (especially literature and music) however I have never been talented enough to create my own music and only dabble in poetry. This blog is my attempt to be creative while also honing my craft of expressing my thoughts through the written word. A teacher once told me that you can never get better at something unless you practice. I fully agree with him and am therefore attempting to do so through this blog. Along with being able to unleash my creative side I also have the opportunity to hone my skills as a writer. Even though I could possibly go on to talk about myself in even more detail, I feel like as if I should not tell you who I am but instead show you through my blog so that then you will be free to make your own assumptions about me as an individual. So are you ready to discover how I became unapologetically resilient?